By
Mahesh Verma
Muscat Daily
September is almost ending and as the heat abates, one is reminded of Groucho Marx and his famous quote where he said that his “favourite poem is the one that starts ‘Thirty days hath September’ because it actually tells you something.”
As the poem metamorphosed from the 1488 edition of September, April, November, and June itself Give thirty days, the rest add one more,
From which number February is excepted
to Thirty days have September,
April, November, and June.
Of 28 is but one
And all the remnant 30 and 1
which then further went on to become
Thirty days have September,
April, November, and June.
February has 28 alone,
And all the rest have 31.
The various forms of the poem are usually considered a doggerel nursery rhyme, which evolved to become:
Thirty days have September,
April, November, and June.
With 28 there is but one.
All the rest have thirty-one.
These have been called “one of the most popular and oft-repeated verses in the English language” and “probably the only 16th – century poem most ordinary citizens know
by heart.”
However, my favourite version is:
Thirty days hath September,
But all the rest I can’t remember…
I don’t know about the rest of you, but September is a very important month for yours faithfully. It is the month that celebrates Daughter’s Day (at least in some parts of the world) and is the month that celebrates Mother’s Day (at least in some households). So to the two young ladies who have made me a proud father – every day is Daughter’s Day for me; soar with the eagles my babies – all you need to do is believe that you can fly!
And to the mother of our darling daughters…as Pablo Neruda had said, I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this… Happy Birthday – may the shades of grey continue to add the salt and pepper and spice to your life!
OK – now that the mushy PDA bit is over, let me remind you all that September is also about the creation of the croissant, another favourite of mine, like the ‘Trinity’ in my life! The city of Vienna was besieged for months when the invading Ottoman army was defeated on September 12, 1683. Attempts to tunnel into the city had been thwarted by a group of bakers, who heard the digging and raised the alarm. To celebrate the victory, those bakers cooked up a special treat. It was a buttery pastry in the shape of the crescent moon of the Ottoman flag – the first croissant. Thank you for that, otherwise my breakfast would have been nothing to crow about.
And yet another first happened on September 10, 1897- a London taxi driver George Smith was stopped by a policeman when his electric cab was seen swerving across the road at a reckless 8mph. After questioning, he was fined 20 shillings, and so became the first person to be charged with driving under the influence. “Motor-car drivers ought to be very careful,” he was warned, “the police have a very happy knack of stopping a runaway horse, but to stop a motor is a very different thing.”
This September of 2018 has now seen Tiger Woods being ‘very careful’ and while the London bobby had stopped the wayward taxi in 1897, our hero stopped the competitors with a two-shot victory and topped the leaderboard and won his first PGA Tour event in more than five years. Recovering from a dark period in his life, where he often experienced difficult and painful days as he endured four back surgeries, and underwent treatment for addiction and served nearly a year’s worth of probation after being arrested last year for driving under the influence, he is back with a mighty roar!
According to the critics “what may have been a competition for Woods beforehand became merely another coronation for the world’s greatest golfer of the past 25 years, if not ever.” Well done and well deserved Mr Woods!
And before I sign off, a few random thoughts:
Did you know that numbers that aren’t divisible by two are really odd?
Did you know that the quintessential reason to doubt the fundamentals of free will is the significant other’s dreaded quip: “I don’t care, do what you want?”
Did you know that my daughters always complain that my jokes have irrelevant punch lines? I wonder why?
Till next fortnight…
