Loneliness To Solitude : A Journey Of Self Awakening
By
Colonel SATISH SINGH LALOTRA
World famous psychologist cum management guru Abraham Maslow in his renowned theory of “Hierarchy of needs” has propounded 5 steps of execution of mankind’s laborious journey lasting a life time. Starting at the lowest rung of “Needs theory”, the ‘Psychological needs’ and ending with that of ‘Self actualisation’ at the highest level , it is a very small percentage of population that makes it to the top with a degree of aplomb. Often the intermediate rung of needs of man viz, safety needs, psychological needs, to include intimate relationships, friends etc and esteemed needs which encompasses prestige and a feeling of accomplishment subsume the life of most individuals. At the same time non fulfillment of any of the needs as per the aspirational levels of humans may lead them to a pal of loneliness. While loneliness can be unpleasant and sometimes painful, aloneness can be mindful, alive and kicking with joy. Life’s topsy-turvy journey with its convoluted patches of rough and tumble is a quest for a positive and constructive start of engagement with oneself also called as ‘Solitude”.
Amid our bustling lives we often lose sight of those pearls of glint and calm moments which can be most rewarding in the long run. When we are calm, silent and by ourselves without any distraction our brain goes into an overdrive and undertakes a ‘self-appraisal’ mode which focuses on recall of personal moments to navigate our uncertain future, feeling emotions, as also is a way to fill in those gaps in the past which we missed by chance though notionally only.
Incidentally loneliness and aloneness or mindfulness has a very thin line of differentiation in so far as human psyche or state of being is concerned. The former has a negative connotation about it and the later has very positive vibes going around it.Various neuroscientists the world over have postulated that the human mind is not wired for multitasking which in fact clutters up, our mind. Contrarily it is meant to perform single task at a time without allowing any intrusions to work at optimum levels.
In fact time spent alone should not be something which a man should be dreading of. Our age old Rishis, Munis, peer &Dervaishes of yore deliberately sought peace and tranquility by delinking themselves from the maddening crowds tucked away in the faraway caves and valleys of our northern frontiers. Capacity and ability to be alone is in fact a function of ‘Self strengthening exercise” cum phenomenon. Its very being is restorative in its entirety. This sense of being aloneness can be productive if it’s voluntary. Even non voluntary solitude or enforced solitude can be productive in its nature, but calls for huge amount of reserves of will power, endurance to sustain mentally and physically.
I realized this element of enforced solitude while in service in army posted at places where humans seldom venture. Whether be at the icy heights of the glacier or freezing colds of Sikkim/Arunachal Pradesh this enforced solitude can sometimes trigger your those hidden facets of human qualities which we hitherto are not aware of. Hikikomori a social recluse phenomenon in Japan is an extreme degree of isolation and confinement for loners or modern day hermits. Hundreds of thousands of young quarter themselves away, sometimes for years often requiring extensive reintegration therapy to move on. But in the armed forces since this enforced solitude is a near regularity with patches of hustle and bustle of civilized world interspersed, hence the requirement of reintegration doesn’t arise as acutely as discussed above in the Japanese formula earlier.
Loneliness is in fact a function of absent of tangible plans for future in any body’s life and denotes a vacuum which willy-nilly is a byproduct of one’s own actions in the past. Absence of external stimuli and attaining pleasure from within does not necessitate complete detachment from the external world. We can’t see things in perspective until we cease to hug them to our bosom. Self-configuration happens during inward focusing and during those moments we emerge calmly, fruitfully and much stronger individual.
Stepping away from the routine and allowing ourselves to be tested at the anvil of unknown and intangibles allows us to connect with new ideas which we had been wrestling with in uncomfortable times. Engaging with reading, writing, doing puzzle solving observing nature blossom at its best, listening to the leaves rustle in the winds can create creativity and a sense of solitude.
Internal exploration or introspection requires aloneness and a kind of labour which can be daunting, even excruciating. It might take time and a bit of work before it turns out to be a pleasant experience. But once it does, it becomes the most important relationship we could have with ourselves. We may feel free from incessant anxieties of life. Saints in pursuit of solitude preferred being alone as they found immense pleasure in this communication with God. Eminent thinkers of the world have been the champions of intellectual and spiritual upliftment leading to solitude.
Two years back in 2019, I happen to ask this question of difference between loneliness and Aloneness from none other than the Melshanti (head priest) of Badrinath shrine Ishwar Prasad Namboodri when I had gone to pay my obeisance at the shrine. The head Rawal (priest) confined his answer to my question to a simple sentence, the ‘State of mind’. As per him it’s your state of mind which decides if you are alone or in a state of loneliness. As per him being alone in silence is the highest state of meditation and can be healthy for body, mind and spirit. Being alone in meditation has a powerful function to rest life’s disruptions and chaos and awaken that inner peace.
The famous Kashmiri mystic LalDed of the Kashmiri Shavaism school of philosophy has very succinctly encapsulated the art of aloneness in so many words—“In aloneness, I turned my gaze from outside to inside, fixed it on the hidden self, took this to heart and naked I set forth to dance”. As brought out at the start of this write up, solitude vivifies i.e. enlivens, or makes lively one’s whole being, every human being should strive to achieve this state of solitude come what may. Since therein lies the path for salvation.
